This Floating Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final season started, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and materialism? The seemingly deliberate parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.

Christina Williams
Christina Williams

A seasoned gaming journalist with over a decade of experience covering online casinos and betting strategies across Europe.